i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
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