I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
It's blow job season.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
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