dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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