so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
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