I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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