I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
You can't just leave with hair like that
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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