you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
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