after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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