I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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