I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Randomize
