The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Randomize
