oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
