SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
