Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize