Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
