well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
I have post one night stand depression
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
