my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
