btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Randomize
