dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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