dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
