Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
