Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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