Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
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