i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
