i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize