Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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