we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
