That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Randomize
