I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I stole a fireplace last night.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
