he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
