i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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