It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
3 2 1 whiskey
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Randomize
