I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Randomize
