Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
