Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
