I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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