tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
