you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
