he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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