She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
