we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
