Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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