when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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