I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
the condom got lost in my hair
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I think I sprained my soul last night
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
