What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
