Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
