i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
