he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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