Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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