can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
