I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
