69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
You can't just leave with hair like that
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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