Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
You made out with two different species that night
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
