just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
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