If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Randomize
