On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Randomize
