so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
